I want to be less selfish.
I want to quit thinking negatively about people,
especially the people who've never done anything to wrong me,
and especially the people who have.
I want to give more.
I want to love more.
I want to be a better person.
I want to go out of my way for others,
and not expect anything in return.
I don't want to want anything in return.
I don't want to want anything.
The implication here, is that I am selfish. I think negatively. I don't give, or love, enough. I expect things. I want things. That's the implication of what I said, anyway.
I don't say all of this so that someone who loves me might say, "you're not a bad person." Even though I appreciate when people try to build me up, those people that love, those people that try to make me see the good in me instead of the bad. I appreciate those people, and those things they say, deeply. But, I don't say all this in order to get that reaction. On the contrary.
I say all of this as a type of confession. I'm confessing to these wrongs in my life that I perpetuate day, after day, after day. I allow them to keep existing, because maybe I'm the only person who knows they exist. Or maybe everyone sees these things in me, and maybe everyone is just too kind, or too scared, to point them out.
I'm sorry if I've hurt you. If I've not loved you enough. If I've wronged you. If I've done things for you to get things from you. If I've not loved you enough.
I want to be less selfish, and this confession, will hopefully be my first step towards that.
Linds,
ReplyDeleteAgain, your words are beautiful This confession, this challenge to yourselves (and ultimately your readers) is incredible and I think we should ALL strive to be selfless. I think it's hard in the society we are raised in because we are taught to always want more to always strive for more and to network and connect with people that will help us get more, and this is wrong. In fact we should be networking and connecting with people to see how WE can help THEM! Recently I have really been feeling the effects of my friends and family supporting me and connecting me to people to get me to where I want to go in life and that is so beautiful to me. That they would care enough to reach out on a limb and connect me to someone they know is awesome. So in turn I have been trying to do the same thing with connecting my friends and family to help them succeed in life!
Another great blog my dear! You inspire me, and even more you challenge me, and for that I thank you.
Love,
BB
I'm glad I can challenge you...but I hope that you know you challenge me, too! Every time we talk, or discuss big things, I'm challenged, and for that, thank you!
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