My heart has been broken so many times i my short life. Boys have broken it, friends have broken it, family has broken it. In half of these instances the people didn't even now they'd done it.
My heart is broken easily, but it isn't fragile. The Lord has encased it in armor. But it breaks easily. I love easily. I give my heart away easily. Almost to a fault. Up until fairly recently I've considered this a flaw. A character defect. I thought this until the last time it was broken, and a great friend of mine brought something into the light for me.
The last time my heart broke it was because of a boy. I kept telling myself that if I'd guarded my heart it never would have happened the way it did. if only I'd never let my heart out of it's box, kept it secure, kept it from following the course it wanted to be on. But I didn't do these things, and it broke, and because my friend loved me enough to be honest with me he said something that made everything different. He told me that my open heart was a beautiful thing, but that didn't mean it was an easy thing. Those few words cut through that foggy pain and pierced something inside me.
To love without fear is such a wonderful thing. Such a dangerous thing. To love for the sake of loving is to be free. To be uninhibited by pretenses. To be able to receive love freely. To risk being hurt badly.
I can handle all the hurts, all the broken pieces of my hurt, if only I can love. Because my God has called me, is calling me, will call me to always love. He created my heart to love. He created my heart to be loved. And when that heart breaks, because people will break it again and again, He has, He does, and He will pick up the pieces and put them back together again, only better than before.
