First of all, everyone makes mistakes. Some mistakes are bigger than others, and some have a greater impact on our lives, but no one is mistake free. We all do things or say things that we regret or that hurt someone else. But the thing I really realized during that talk was that those mistakes aren't the end of something. They're the beginning. From those moments we learn and if we have the right mindset we grow. If it weren't for all the many mistakes I've made in my life I wouldn't be the person I am right here and now. And ya know, for the first time in maybe my whole life, I like that person.
Now, I've made my fair share of mistakes. I've put myself in long term situations that I shouldn't have been in. I've done things that even at the time I knew were wrong. I've hurt people with my words. I've done things out of spite. I've remained stagnant even when I knew I should move. And while a part of me wishes I could go back and change all of those things, fix them or make them right, another part of me realizes that, even while it hurt, those things helped shape me. That isn't to say I'm glad I hurt any one. Those things I've done that caused someone else pain, I pray that I rectified them in some way. But for me, I know I've grown. I've changed. I've evolved into the woman that I am and that is pretty cool.
I won't say that any of my relationships have been mistakes. I have really great memories from each and every one of them. And luckily, a few of them have yielded some pretty great friendships. But I will say that those relationships were not the right relationship for me. None of those boys were the man that God has for me. And while I really wanted one or two of them to be, I'm thankful that since they weren't 'right' God caused our paths to split. He took what wasn't meant to be and fixed it. Just like in all my mistakes, He took them and changed them and molded them so that they were right. Which brings me to my next thought...
Faith. When I was 22 years old I was living with a boy who I had been with for four years. (This was one of those mistakes.) I was crazy about him, and at the same time I really despised myself for living with someone out of wedlock, and for being in a relationship that I knew wasn't healthy. I was 22 and after four years I finally broke down. I cried out to the Lord and asked Him to either fix the relationship or take it away. I put it in His hands, and released it from my own. That night, that boy called me and said, "I think we need to move home." Within a week I was living with my parents again. Two weeks after that, the boy and I had broken up. Now, it hurts me a little that he and I aren't friends now, three years later, but I will forever be thankful that my Lord rescued me when I put my faith in Him.
About a month ago, I was in a relationship with a boy who was my very best friend. We were great at being friends. We just weren't great at being together. I was driving to his house after babysitting one afternoon and it hit me that maybe we weren't as happy as I was pretending. So again I cried out to the Lord, and asked that if that relationship weren't the right one, that He would take it away, and if it was that He would bless it. Two days later that boy broke up with me, and it was one of the hardest moments I can remember going through. But now, just a month or so later, I have never been so happy. I put my faith in Him, and not only did He do what He knew was best, but He gave me joy and peace afterward, and He gave me that boy as a friend so very soon after.
What I'm trying to say, and taking a long time to say it is, we all make mistakes. We all mess up. But when we give those things to God, and remove our hands from them completely, He will take that mistake and turn it around. He will teach us from it. He will help us grow from it. No matter what it is. That's life. And if that's the case, then life is good.
Life IS good. :)
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