The Girl

When the girl was alone and all her hope was gone she turned her eyes to the sky and screamed. She screamed her hurt. She screamed her pain. She screamed until her face was wet with sweat and tears and her muscles trembled likes leaves in the wind.

She screamed out to God – a single long wail like the howl of a wolf. She felt like she was dying. In that scream she begged God to help her. To save her. To fix her. She begged Him to show her how to live again.

She looked up into the sky with a throat raw like tenderized meat and saw a cloud lined in golden light. It hurt to look at, but she didn’t look away. The cloud was moving slowly and she knew that if she kept looking at that spot the sun would be uncovered and it would blind her.

At the last moment she closed her eyes and felt the sun’s heat on her face. She felt the wind on her skin. She felt the tiny drops of moisture drip off her chin and over her lips. She felt everything.

Her heart pounded in her chest, in her throat, in her fingers and the soles of her feet. Her pain was like a burn over every inch of her skin.

With her closed eyes toward the sky she fell to her knees and clutched her hands to her stomach. She pressed her fists into her belly and sobbed, water on the grass soaked into her jeans.

“Lord,” she cried, her voice cracking, “Father. Help me. I need you. I need you. I need you.”

She cried out to the Lord, then cried into her hands, her tears leaking through and dripping onto the grass like gentle rain.

I am always here, said the Lord. I am here with you every time you smile. I am here with you every time you cry. Every breath. Every heart beat. Every hurt. I am always here with you.

“If you’re here then why does this have to happen?” She pressed her fists into her eyes until it hurt. “Why do I have to go through this?”

I know you’re hurting. I know you’re hurting. But I have a plan for you. I have a path for you. Fix your eyes on Me. I am always here. I am always here.

As if a blanket were placed over her shoulders the pain in her body was soothed. The pain in her heart dimmed.

“I trust you, Father.” She pulled her hands away from her eyes and let them adjust to the light. She sat again with her face toward the sky and let the sun dry her tears. She stood with damp knees. She stood into the evening with hope once again in her heart.