Which brings me here.

God works in ways I will never really understand. He pulls me to Him whenever I start to stray, but it seems the only way He can get my attention is to really shake things up. For example, when I start to put a person before Him, He lets me know that the ONLY way to survive in this life is with Him, regardless of what people are in my life at that time.

Don't get me wrong. Every person in my life holds a special place in my heart. It's just, some people tend to take up more of my heart than others. For instance, My Ben. Ben is the first guy I've ever dated who really seems to accept me for me, no holds barred. He knows my weaknesses, my weirdnesses, my faults, my strengths, but he just accepts them all as the package that is me. I've never been with someone who was like that. I've never been with someone who was willing to listen to me, and talk to me about things. I've never been with someone who was willing to put up with the crap that I do, but who was just as stubborn as me. Ben and I are so similar. He is my opposite and my mirror-image. He's taken me by storm.

Because of all that, though, I've begun to lose sight of God again. I do this every time. I get into a relationship, or a friendship, or a series of books (which is like a friendship in a lot of ways) and I forget that all my happiness, all my trials, all my EVERYTHING is due to God, and without Him I would have nothing.

Which brings me here. To a point of having to balance the wonderful blessings that God has given me (My Ben, My Family, My Friends) with God Himself. Because He is the greatest of all of those. He has given me all of these things, these blessings, and to not hold Him above them all would be horrible. He has given me these things, He has blessed me with these things, and now it's time that I really thank Him for these things, instead of taking them for granted.