We're All Hungry for Something

If you read my last blog post, you know that lately, things for me haven't been great (emotionally). I've had a lot of down moments and down days, and I couldn't for the life of me figure out what it was that was causing it. I should have been able to figure it out, but I'm stubborn. Often, I keep my eyes closed tight when I know I should open them wide, because I know that when I open them it might sting.

Tonight, Vince and I went to Lexington to attend 608--the church service held at Southland Christian Church for college-ish age people. The pastor, Jon Weece, talked about running from things and running to things. He then told us the story of a woman who was abused as a child, and ended up turning her life toward things that were harmful to her and to others--sex, drugs, alcohol, and self-injury. The story ended when after this woman had run from her past for years--from all that hurt she endured as a child and then allowed herself to endure as an adult--until she ran to someone that opened up their heart to her and loved her. This woman wasn't judged for the way she'd lived her life. The word sin was never used. Rather, this woman was described as someone who had been hurt, who was hurting herself and others, and who, in the end, was loved simply because she needed to be loved. That love healed her brokenness.

I'm not doing this story justice. We got to hear the woman, via video, tell her story from beginning to end, and it broke my heart. She talked about her drug and alcoholism, her prostitution and career in the porn industry, and about her broken childhood with a mother who introduced her to many of these things. This was a woman who was broken in so many ways, and who in the end was healed by the love and grace of Jesus. This story is miraculous. It's miraculous because Jesus' love, through people, helped this woman heal, but it's also miraculous, because, despite what I've seen from people for so, so long, the people in this story never made this woman seem like she was less. 

I've been to many different churches, and I've talked to people with varied beliefs--Atheists, Agnostics, Buddhists, Baptists, Catholics, Jehovahs Witnesses, Methodists, Mormons, Muslims, Wiccans, you name. These different groups of people have vastly different views of God, religion, and the world, yet there's one common thing that ties most, if not all, of them together. The idea that what they believe is right.

What stood out as different to me about this particular service, about this particular story, was that I never got the impression that the people of this church thought of this woman as any less than them. I never got the impression that they saw themselves as being better than her. They weren't going out and loving her because she was lost--they went and loved her, because she needed to be loved. No questions asked. No holds barred. They just loved.

Pastor Weece told another story about a young boy, a second grader I thing, that was a pretty violent kid. Once, he took a swing at a teacher, and Jon had to pull him away. The boy bit him, and when Jon got his hand free, he pulled the boy into a gentle bear hug and took him to see the principal, holding him the whole time. As they walked, the boy fought against Jon, still full of anger. When Jon got him to the principal's office, she saw him, went back outside, and brought the boy a peach. He ate as if he hadn't eaten in weeks. Why did he act so violently? So angrily? Because he was hungry.

We're all hungry for something. The woman I talked about before, she was hungry--desperately hungry--for love, for a sense that she was important, that she belonged. The child was hungry for food, so hungry that all he could do was be angry. I'm hungry for things, things that I may not even realize I'm hungry for. I know that you're hungry for things too.

As I said in the beginning of this, emotionally, things have been rough for me lately. I've lashed out at my husband, at my family, and at my friends. I wasn't happy. If I'd opened my eyes up, I would have been able to see that it was because of how hungry I was. I've been starving for Jesus, and I didn't recognize those hunger pains for what they were. I've been hungry for God to move in my life, and what I didn't see was that I was also hungry to go out and live my life for God, and to share the love that He so freely gives me.

I'm not trying to idolize Pastor Weece, or Southland, or the 608 service we went to, but I do want to say that tonight's message opened my eyes and my heart in a way that I haven't experienced in a long, long time. The message made me realize that a little bit of love, the smallest thing, can set in motion a chain of events that might change someone's life. And if it doesn't, that little bit of love can at least make a person happy for a moment. The message made me want to go out and love.

Vince and I talked about the service after we left. We felt refreshed, renewed, and excited to go out and live our lives, and our marriage, for God. The entire service was centered around not who was right, who was wrong, and how we (the "right" ones) can correct the thinking/beliefs of the "wrong" ones, it was centered around the need the world has for servants--for people who go out and love others no matter what. In the story about the little boy, the principal and Jon loved him and gave him food, not because he was angry, but because he was hungry. In the story of the woman, she was shown love by the people at Southland not so that she would believe what they would have her believe, but because she was hurting and needed to be loved.

My heart broke tonight in a way that it hasn't in a long time. My heart broke for myself when I realized that I'd gone for so long not living my life loving and worshipping Jesus by loving others. My heart broke in a beautiful way when I realized that there are people that are living that way right now. My heart broke in a refreshing, exciting way when I realized that there are churches out there right now that are going and doing the things that make life beautiful--they're out there spreading the love of God. There was no political agenda, or church agenda, no secret, hidden reason for why the people of this church are doing this--it just is what it is, and what it is is beautiful.

Jon challenged us to go out this week and do for one person what we wished we could do for the world. To go out and show one person love. What a beautiful opportunity, and what a beautiful way to live, to go and give someone love, and to do so not in order to change the way they think, or the way they act, or the way they are, but simply go and love because we all need to be loved.

31..."The kingdom of heaven is like a mustard seed, which a man took and planted in his field. 32 Though it is the smallest of all seeds, yet when it grows, it is the largest of garden plants and becomes a tree, so that the birds come and perch in its branches." 

-Matthew 13:31-32

Salt of the Earth / Light of the World

On Wednesday, Dustin talked about The Beatitudes. I don't think he intended to, I think his aim was to share the verses that followed them. Regardless, he did share them, and hearing them spoke to something inside of me that yearns to be set free.

"Blessed are the poor in spirit, for theirs is the kingdom of heaven. Blessed are those who mourn, for they shall be comforted. Blessed are the meek, for they shall inherit the earth. Blessed are those who hunger and thirst for righteousness, for they shall be filled. Blessed are the merciful, for they shall obtain mercy. Blessed are the pure in heart, for they shall see God. Blessed are the peacemakers, for they shall be called sons of God. Blessed are those who are persecuted for righteousness' sake, for theirs is the kingdom of heaven. Blessed are you when they revile and persecute you, and say all kinds of evil against you falsely for My sake. Rejoice and be exceedingly glad, for great is your reward in heaven, for so they persecuted the prophets who were before you." (Matt. 5:3-12)

Even as irregular as my church attendance has been over the course of my life, I'd heard these verses many, many times. When Dustin read them, and talked about them a little bit, I felt something in me--a set of preconceived notions that made it easy for me to live the way I've been living--start to crumble. 

I've called myself a follower of Christ since I was a child, since before I realized what it could possibly mean to follow in Christ's footsteps. At 27, I realize that I don't have it all figured out. I realize that I'll never have it all figured out. And I realize that, despite these two facts, I can still work hard toward living like Christ would have me live.

In each of the Beatitudes, the blessed are those people that are broken, or the people that seek out good. To me this says that the blessed are those that show awesome, crazy love; those that choose to love in exceptional ways by not retaliating, by showing mercy, by bringing peace; those that seek to improve the lives of others, rather than their own lives; those that are humble and selfless.

Dustin went on to talk about the following few verses (Matt. 5:13-16). These verses talk about how we are the salt of the earth. I've heard that for years, and never understood what it means, but Dustin's words shed some light it for me. A simplified version of what he said is, salt was a preservative. To be the salt of the earth is to preserve the earth. These verses also say that we are the light of the world. To be honest, I've always thought that we--people--were a little vain to think of ourselves as lights to the world, but I'd never before considered the fact that the light shining from within us isn't our own light, but God's light. That by living the life he calls us to live, and by living for Him, we're lights to the world. 

"Let your light so shine before men, that they may see your good works and glorify your Father in heaven." (Matt. 5:16)

How does all this tie together? To be lights of the world we must do what we can to preserve the world, to love it, to tend to it and take care of it. God put us here, not because he hated this place ("For God so loved the world that He gave His only begotten Son..." John 3:16), but rather because He loved it and He loved us. We're here to take care of it, to take care of each other. We're to tend to our gardens, our plots of land, our animals, and more importantly, our neighbors, our families, our friends, and our enemies. Blessed are the peacemakers...the pure in heart...the merciful...those who hunger and thirst for righteousness. 

It's easy to live your life for yourself. I do it every single day. It's much, much harder to live your life for something greater. To live your life in a way that may not yield instant gratification. In a way that may cause yourself some hardship. But our goal shouldn't be instant gratification. Our goal, my goal, should be doing what my heart tells me is right. To love despite conflict. To reach out and take those extra steps, those extra miles, that will show someone else--friend and foe--love. As always, I believe with my whole heart that Love is the key to everything.

Love without Bias. Love with Wild Abandon.

Love.

I've blogged a lot about love. But as I grow, I learn more and more about what that word really means.

I think we throw the word around a lot, but I don't necessarily think that's a bad thing. We say, "I love that car," or "I love this weather," and things of that nature. We tell our friends, our family, our significant others, even our pets, that we love them. I've heard some people say that throwing the word "love" around isn't something we should do, but wouldn't the world be a better place if we all threw love, actual love, around more?

Love isn't an emotion. Not really. It's a way of living. A choice. A gift. To love someone is probably the greatest gift we can give, but it's also something great we can do for ourselves. I know that when I love on someone, whether it's my best friend, my mom or dad or brother, or a complete stranger, I have this peace that washes over me. And while I don't claim to have all the answers, or even a small fraction of the answers, I think I have an idea of why that might be.

Let me try to break it down for my own sense of clarity. God is love. Jesus calls us to love. God loves on us. We should love on each other.

In Matthew 5 we are told to love our enemies as well as our neighbors. What a radical notion. Love your enemies. Love your neighbors. What I think Jesus is asking us to do here is just to love, without bias, with wild abandon.

"9 In this was manifested the love of God toward us: that God sent his only begotten Son into the world, that we might live through Him. 10 Herein is love: not that we loved God, but that He loved us and sent His Son to be the propitiation for our sins. 11 Beloved, if God so loved us, we ought also to love one another." (1 John 4:9-11)

I think we all (myself definitely included) should be kinder to people. Should be more understanding of people. Should have more conversations with people. And not just the people we already know. Talk to a stranger, ask them about their day. I wanna have the boldness to go out of my way to love on someone just because I can. There have been times when someone has shown me kindness, and they didn't even know me, and it made my day so much brighter.

Love is beautiful. Love is wonderful. Love is a real, powerful, vibrant force. I think we should all explore it a little more.